Alone..

Sometimes i feel like its easier this way...
no one to hurt but me..

The Loneliness doesnt scare me anymore
dont even need misery anymore for company...

I miss being in Love..i really do...
that feeling that the world just exists for us two

waking up to a text...talking on the phone for hours..
feeling like noone understood me like u did...noone had a love like ours

those memories make me smile..even though my heart aches
but i tell myself..its for the best..atleast this way is safe..no more heartbreaks

So everytime anyone gets close..i bolt...and lock the door
told myself so many lies i dont even know what the truth is anymore

Wishing i could let myself connect on a level deeper than sex
telling myself ..its best this way..i dont want another ex

i feel like im my own enemy ..i dont even know how to get out of my own way
kneeling infront of u..my arms around  u..my head against ur stomach..i want to ask...no beg u to help me...but i know if i did,ud ask me how...and i wouldnt know what to say

so i walk away...cus i dont want to complicate ur life..
but all my heart yearns for is one to call my wife

ive loved and ive lost..
but that wont be the end of me..i need to let myself trust

cant keep running..

i dont want to end up Alone...