u got a new man now...

i'm happy for you...
and i wish u the best...






i really do...

and before i close this chapter
there are a few things i need to get off my chest










im constantly reflecting
weighing my intentions
trying my hardest not to be spiteful..








i admit i messed up
cus if i was doing everything i shouldve
that would be me..instead of him...lying beside u..












i hate to think about this
id rather just push it out of my mind
and move on...




but im constantly reminded
ure still on my facebook...on my twitter...bbm..still in my life
and i cant find it in me to break away..severe a bond that was once so strong..










So he cooks u dinner
makes u feel special
treats u in every way u think u deserve










i never cooked for u..never got the chance to
we never got a chance to see what couldve been
but in ur heart still smoulders a flame for me that only love couldve preserved












U waited for so long..
holding on to the memory of me
and believing in the promise of years to come














The distance between us couldnt keep u away from me
but in the end it was my unwillingness to open up to u...scar(r)ed to trust..i pushed u away into anothers arms












fuck him tho...










He kisses u with his lips
I kissed u with my soul..




he holds ur hand..
those same hands that held my heart






they still do...












u wore me down
i couldnt resist u
i knew u were the one
the moment i kissed u














when i held u in my arms my heart whispered "forever"
when u put ur head in my lap and looked up into my eyes...and my eyes gazed back as my fingers stroked ur face...i thought u could see right through me as love poured out of me..






and i was always the first to look away










if only u knew that wasnt becuase i didnt love u..
it was becuase i loved u too much and i didnt want you to see how weak u make me feel inside..












i built these walls to protect myself
and u took them down ..brick by brick..






i surrendered to u..






But u never knew it






and u wrote me off..
as I was writing u into my future..








i cant blame you though
it was foolish of me to assume you knew the thoughts that i often tried to deny myself..






all u wanted to know was that u werent waiting for me in vain..










i want to hate him...i want to fight him




he gets to cuddle u.................kiss u....hold u...



n i think of how bad i wanted u to just lie on my chest and make me feel like u were my baby...






how bad i wanted to kiss ur smile..






it wasnt even about the sex...i just wanted to be inside ur body...






but i guess its all water under the bridge now








i hope he's everything i could have...would have....should have been..














my heart is yours..if uve got somewhere to keep it...u still are..and always will..be my queen


















...x