Hurt people...hurt people..

She had so much potential..

She still does..

But all she sees in herself are the lies he told..

She wishes she could go back to the start..before she became this cold..

She was young...tender heart learning how to love..

He was her first..and she didnt know how to hold back..

She thought it would last forever..he promised her it would..he said those 3 words..

So she gave him everything..she made him the centre of her world..

But right before happily ever after..things changed..

Love started to hurt..

She wished he could see into her heart ..pull her in his arms and kiss away her fears.

but instead he pushed her away ..broke her down with his words..turned his back on her tears..

Eventually she moved on..

She had to let him go...

but somethings gone inside her..and she fears she'll never get it back

i see it in her eyes ..but she denys it everytime i ask..

she thinks she's forever under his spell and he'll never let her go

but shes the one holding on..

afraid to let go of the memories..incase she never gets to feel that way again..

and even though the memories hurt..sometimes she shudders..cus she finds herself enjoying the pain

Im no saint ...im bad baby ...real bad..

ive made mistakes..lost out on love a time or two..

but i felt something come alive deep within me..the moment our eyes met..

u felt it too...cus neither of us could look away..around my heart..u made the ice melt...

its funny that ive never met ur ex, but i want to punch his teeth down his throat..

cus someone else is probably feeling the same way about me..

Good intentions never win..i never meant to hurt anyone..i just couldnt give them what was missing

could understand why they were so eager to give me their hearts, knowing how clumsy i was..i didnt mean to break any of them i protest...but karma wont listen..

It pisses me off, when i tell u ure beautiful...and u look away like im lying..

i wonder how u cant see what i see..

and even though my kisses make ur knees weak..theyre not enough..even my hugs arent warm enough to melt ur heart...

i try to be patient and understanding...but i hate how u make me feel..u dont even miss me when we're apart..

I know how this is going to end..but my heart tells me shes the truth..

but thats where hope lies..

i want to heal ur heart..and if its broken beyond repair..ill give u mine..

but im tired of reaching out to u..and meeting a brick wall all the time..

i know ure hurting..pent up anger and frustration ure afraid one day will consume u

i wish u gave me a chance to help u make new memories...

cus i Love u enough to just be your friend and nothing else..but ud rather hold unto the pain...

cant blame u..but its a choice u see...u can only push someone away before one day u realise that theyre gone..

this note is my goodbye...and ull never see me again

i feel my heart breaking in my chest..and i left the pieces on the floor for u...cus it will always be yours...it hurts so much to walk away..

this is my punishment..and ill take it like a man..i will always love u ...and i hope u find happiness someday...

Goodbye my darling..x

Love...

Love is my mother with a 1st class and a Phd..the best of her peers...setting her career back 10 years to raise my sister and I

Love is sacrifice...

Caring so much about someone their needs become urs..

Love is unselfish...

cus ur heart and life is so deeply connected to another persons that u get satisfaction from satisfying their needs..

 .. Love is also Selfish..

because when u value something u never want to lose it...

Love isnt about what the other person has done...

Love is the reason you take them back..

 ..

Love usually has nothing to do with sex...take the physical away..and u start to realise what love is

A lotta young people..(myself included) dont understand Love..we generally tend to fall for the ones who dont want us as much as we want them...thats not love..that has to do with pride...and maybe acceptance..

ive only said "i love u" to a few people in my life other than my family..but even now i still feel like i owe them something..those words are heavy

cus i feel like "i love you" is more than a statement..its a promise.

Rollercoaster

The Highs..

Remember the butterflies?

the excitement..the realisation that in a world full of billions of people..

u had one to call...."All Mine"

Remember the latenight telephone conversations?

knowing u felt it, but wondering if this was the right time to say"I love u"

and the tingles of pleasure those words sent up ur spine..

Remember how it felt..that first kiss..

the desire u felt in ur belly as their fingers claimed ur body

that deep satisfaction words couldnt explain

Remember the pleasure a simple hug gave u

holding hands and looking into love filled eyes

ur name has been urs all ur life..but on their lips it was more than the same..

Cus u heard more than ur name...

U heard forever..

But all good things come to an end..

and u knew this cus u started to miss them even when u were together..

When Love hurts its the worst kind of pain

its like u dont live anymore..u exist..and nuthins the same..

The Lows..

Remember the fights?

The words u thot u meant but u really didnt

u just wanted to hurt them as much as they were hurting u

Remember wanting them

Needing them..but pride stopped u from calling..reaching out

Thots holding back sleep as u lay there..doubts..wondering if they still want u

Remember that text

"we need to talk"

The one u knew would come but still filled u with dread

Remember the moment u finally realised it was over

weeks after it ended..when ur heart finally gave up hope

and u felt like ur world ended and sometimes wished u were dead

Bittersweet memories..

Surfing the highs..u feel nuthin could be better

trapped in the lows..u feel nuthin could be worse

Love....Emotional Rollercoaster

Beautiful coin with two faces

one side a gift..the other a curse..

The greatest adrenaline rush..

strong enough to bring the bravest thrill seeker to their knees

The fall could break ur heart..

I remember the Highs..

I try but i cant forget the Lows

i really hate that part..

i want to find the courage to get back on again..

but i keep bitching out..

cus i dont think i have one more fall in me...

thats all i keep thinking about ...

so ill just sit back..and watch other people have all the fun..

and if anyone asks..ill say "maybe one day"..x

Uve been stressing all week..

Back and Body aching...

But i understand its that time of the month...

In an Emotional park...

I try not to push u..as u play on the mood swings..

 But..

Tonite is the Night....

I knew it the moment i walked in and saw u in ur lingerie..

taking ur body in my arms...

Kissing u so deep I forget to breathe...

Writing a love letter on ur skin with my fingertips..

My tongue making promises on ur skin..

My lips making love to ur neck..

My legs spreading ur legs...

as my love muscle slides inbetween..

Taking ur lower lip inbetween my teeth..

My warm skin pressed against urs..

Hard..Slow...Deep..Fast..Thrusts..

 Ur nails in my back and u cum-in like open doors..

Pushing ur legs back..folding u in half 

...and putting my dick right through the middle..

my body pinning urs to the bed...

...as i fuck u into multiple...

licking the sweat off ur breasts..

.. grazing ur nipples with my teeth...

 ....my lips on ur thighs...

ur fingers in the sheets....

holding ur legs up...

warm tongue massaging inbetween ur thighs..

ure so wet..licking on ur clt sending waves of pleasure thru ur body..

taking u all the way to the brink...

 thats when u feel it....

choclate sliding in pink

filling u up...

deeper and deeper till u feel u cant take it..

 ..ur hands in front of ur knees...

my hands on ur hips..pounding that kitty..like im tryna break it..

giving u everything uve been aching for..

satisfaction..all u need and then a little more..

in moments u lie in my arms asleep...

in the wake of an orgasm that exploded in ur very core..

Tonite we went all in..

I'll be back in it in the morning..

Sweet dreams my darlin

..x

..Loves a cocktail...

...ill show u how to mix it..

..i'll place my broken heart in ur open hand...

cus u know how to fix it...




pick out the lies...

in the cracks ...and out of the broken pieces...

id buy a stable full of horses..

if i could turn them into wishes...



or kisses....

i get so lonely sometimes...

like a flower locked away in  a darkroom

all i have are memories of sunshine...


ive been let down before

but will i let that define me?

i keep playing hide and seek with my feelings..

how can i expect love to find me?



a bunch of feelings that i dont show...

wishing i could force all these secrets out of my heart..

will i know how to love the right one..?

walking circles in the wrong direction..endin anythin before it gets a chance to start...


i want to love so bad...

but my mind wont let me ...

My heart used to be loves advocate..

f..l of and for love...now it just feels empty



when u believe a lie to the point where it becomes the truth...

is it still a lie?

and when the thots start to hurt..i escape into a glass of wine..

and after the green burns she wraps her legs around me..and i close my eyes..



and melt into her...

and put all this pain inside her...


her warmth takes over me..

living from high to high




this cant be life...

Xiana's bed..

I watch them come in...both a little tipsy...

his lower lip inbetween her teeth as things start to get steamy...


They leave each others clothes around the room locked in the embrace of love..

and i hold their trembling bodies as i turn my gaze to the ceiling above...


He tells her all the things he knows she wants to hear...

I know shes terrified of losing him..and secretly fears that one day she'll wake up and he wont be there...



One day her fears come true...

its me, dont worry baby..its not u..


The first night is the worst ...she woke the sun with her sobs...

I cuddled her ...we nearly drowned in her tears...her heart robbed of its love..


She tried to get others to replace u..it was never the same..

And some times in her sleep..her lips whispered your name...


they could never match up to the memory of u..they left as almost as soon as they came...

and when they left...my pillows collected her tears..i felt her pain...i shared her shame...


Wishing..i could be the one for her...wishing i was more...

longing to take the pain of her broken heart away..just so she wouldnt cry anymore





U dont know how lucky u are...


All i ask...


Please dont break her heart..Realise u mean as much to her...as she means to me...

Come back to her..make her happy again..let love heal her broken heart and set her free..


i just want to see her happy..but if u dont want to...

we'll get through this and one day she'll forget she even had u..



But...

she still loves u...

and i guess that matters more than anything else ive said..

So if you can find some love in ur heart for her...please come back...

till then...


Yours Sincerely,

Xiana's bed.

Some men make their women feel worthless by calling them names, sometimes even physically abusing them and making them feel ugly...



they do this sht becuase this is how they really feel about themselves..and they hope they can decieve u into thinking u can never do better...


Sadly..in many cases...it works.