..Loves a cocktail...

...ill show u how to mix it..

..i'll place my broken heart in ur open hand...

cus u know how to fix it...




pick out the lies...

in the cracks ...and out of the broken pieces...

id buy a stable full of horses..

if i could turn them into wishes...



or kisses....

i get so lonely sometimes...

like a flower locked away in  a darkroom

all i have are memories of sunshine...


ive been let down before

but will i let that define me?

i keep playing hide and seek with my feelings..

how can i expect love to find me?



a bunch of feelings that i dont show...

wishing i could force all these secrets out of my heart..

will i know how to love the right one..?

walking circles in the wrong direction..endin anythin before it gets a chance to start...


i want to love so bad...

but my mind wont let me ...

My heart used to be loves advocate..

f..l of and for love...now it just feels empty



when u believe a lie to the point where it becomes the truth...

is it still a lie?

and when the thots start to hurt..i escape into a glass of wine..

and after the green burns she wraps her legs around me..and i close my eyes..



and melt into her...

and put all this pain inside her...


her warmth takes over me..

living from high to high




this cant be life...

Xiana's bed..

I watch them come in...both a little tipsy...

his lower lip inbetween her teeth as things start to get steamy...


They leave each others clothes around the room locked in the embrace of love..

and i hold their trembling bodies as i turn my gaze to the ceiling above...


He tells her all the things he knows she wants to hear...

I know shes terrified of losing him..and secretly fears that one day she'll wake up and he wont be there...



One day her fears come true...

its me, dont worry baby..its not u..


The first night is the worst ...she woke the sun with her sobs...

I cuddled her ...we nearly drowned in her tears...her heart robbed of its love..


She tried to get others to replace u..it was never the same..

And some times in her sleep..her lips whispered your name...


they could never match up to the memory of u..they left as almost as soon as they came...

and when they left...my pillows collected her tears..i felt her pain...i shared her shame...


Wishing..i could be the one for her...wishing i was more...

longing to take the pain of her broken heart away..just so she wouldnt cry anymore





U dont know how lucky u are...


All i ask...


Please dont break her heart..Realise u mean as much to her...as she means to me...

Come back to her..make her happy again..let love heal her broken heart and set her free..


i just want to see her happy..but if u dont want to...

we'll get through this and one day she'll forget she even had u..



But...

she still loves u...

and i guess that matters more than anything else ive said..

So if you can find some love in ur heart for her...please come back...

till then...


Yours Sincerely,

Xiana's bed.

Some men make their women feel worthless by calling them names, sometimes even physically abusing them and making them feel ugly...



they do this sht becuase this is how they really feel about themselves..and they hope they can decieve u into thinking u can never do better...


Sadly..in many cases...it works.